Eh?
I had forgotten how wet spring in Korea can be. As I lay in bed this morning listening to the cars splash through the huge puddles forming on the road outside and the water coming off the roof in sheets I found myself regretting two thing- first that when I had thought to buy an umbrella the other day I plumped for the photo frame instead and second, that I didn’t buy the milk I need for my breakfast last night when it was sinfully dry. I don’t want to spend too long talking about the weather (well, I do but I am afraid that you will stop reading if I do) but it seems that we have a week of spring weather- where we all dust off our shorts and start making plans to go sandal shopping- followed by a week of winter weather- which I seem to be the only person to admit to since everyone else has dry cleaned their winter jackets and put them away for next year and I only have the one jacket so seem to spend half of my week too hot and the other too cold.
Mind you, I did try and buy a jacket the other day but the shop assistants up in Gangneung just seem to ignore foreigners that walk into their shops. Which does make a change from the Mokpo attitude of a great crowd of them swarming over to you in alarm in case you should try and fit your oversized body into any of their delicate clothes. They used to go as far as snatching the clothes out of my hands if they saw me even hold them up against myself for a size comparison. Mind you there was one lady who was very helpful and used to round up everything in the shop in my size whenever I went there- I started going there a lot but if she wasn’t there I got the usual service. The shop that she worked in is a chain so I went into the branch up here but she obviously hadn’t phoned ahead to warn them about me and I got a blank ‘no sizee’ refusal instead. Shame. When I finally saw a jacket that I liked in a window I went into the shop and found that they had one in my size. I held it up and mimed trying it on to the vast amusement of the shop girls who then took it out of my hand and put it back on the rack. When I seemed more insistent they went through the rack looking for my size ignoring me pointing at the original jacket and saying my size in Korean. They seemed about to deny me my trying on rights so I just snatched it off the rack and took my other jacket off. It fitted and to their amazement (and mine) I bought it- I think rather to avoid having to go through this again in another shop. So I am now the proud owner of a white eighties style jacket which I am a little too embarrassed to wear. But I am sure that it will come out of the wardrobe when it stops raining.
Miscommunication and total failure at communication are part of everyday life here for us foreigners. It can work to our advantage when we get to sit in bars without ordering side dishes because they don’t know enough English to tell us that we have to for example. And on the midnight train to Seoul last year when the guard came to tell us to be quiet and we all proudly showed him our train tickets- an innocent mistake actually. Or when the guy came to read the electricity meter at Barry’s house and told us to turn the TV off and was totally taken aback when we turned it up instead. But at times it can be totally mystifying and life takes on a slightly surreal aspect. The imagination often fills in the gaps left by lack of understanding. But nothing has had me as flummoxed as the commercial that I saw last night for a pair of short for men. Please bear in mind that I am by no means an expert on the male undercarriage and maybe there is an obvious need for the product shown.
The ad started with several Korean men involved in various activities while wearing the shorts- one was lifting weights, another was casually reclined reading a magazine. Then the camera zoomed in on the crotch of one of the fellas (this being Korea he was wearing a pair of pink shorts with no slur on his sexuality whatsoever). I think that this was an honest mistake and that the cameraman just hadn’t realised quite what he was seeing through the lens. But then the graphics hit in and showed a 3D model of the shorts revealing the secret inside- a kind of ball bra which went from the back of the shorts to the front. And there was more- a reinforced area at the front was covered in little rubber massage nobbles. In the middle of this crotch cushion was a strip of elastic going from left to right- I assumed that something gets tucked in there nice and safe to minimise the risk of ‘slippage’ while either lifting weights or reading a magazine. So far so good, though rather uncomfortable looking. But then for the final detail- on a piece of string that dangled on the inside of the front of the shorts was a thick rubber band and some beads. The presenter-geezer kept putting it over his first two fingers and stretching it between the two. In fact, in the end I realised that this was the main selling feature of the item. My mind was well and truly boggled. If you are as confused as I am there then the product is called ‘Worldian’ and they even come with a handy cell phone pocket on the left leg.
Mind you, even when I do understand stuff it doesn’t stop being funny. I think that most of you know of my love of Conglish- the strange mixture of English and Korean that seems to end up on greetings cards, pencils cases and signposts over here. Many of you have seen my Christmas card collection which gave me so much joy last year- if you didn’t and you want to let me know because I have then scanned in and on the web somewhere. Some of the problems can be a simple mistake like using a Korean- American English dictionary to translate writing about the rest of the world- hence me discovering when reading the Korea Air magazine on the way to Japan last week that The Houses of Parliament back in London actually contain a Senate and House of Representatives- news to me and I am sure to most of the politicians in the UK. My favourite will always be the sign inviting us to ‘try our mouse-watering burgers and take a lot of benefit along with it’, made all the more delightful because it was in a branch of Burger King. There is a sign on a wall near me here which talks of ‘the lovely police’ and I not sure if this means that they are cuddly little plods or if they are cracking down hard on crimes of loveliness.
Needless to say this part of what makes my time over here so fun. Anyway, I have to go now, there are some raindrops running down the window which look particularly interesting.
Mind you, I did try and buy a jacket the other day but the shop assistants up in Gangneung just seem to ignore foreigners that walk into their shops. Which does make a change from the Mokpo attitude of a great crowd of them swarming over to you in alarm in case you should try and fit your oversized body into any of their delicate clothes. They used to go as far as snatching the clothes out of my hands if they saw me even hold them up against myself for a size comparison. Mind you there was one lady who was very helpful and used to round up everything in the shop in my size whenever I went there- I started going there a lot but if she wasn’t there I got the usual service. The shop that she worked in is a chain so I went into the branch up here but she obviously hadn’t phoned ahead to warn them about me and I got a blank ‘no sizee’ refusal instead. Shame. When I finally saw a jacket that I liked in a window I went into the shop and found that they had one in my size. I held it up and mimed trying it on to the vast amusement of the shop girls who then took it out of my hand and put it back on the rack. When I seemed more insistent they went through the rack looking for my size ignoring me pointing at the original jacket and saying my size in Korean. They seemed about to deny me my trying on rights so I just snatched it off the rack and took my other jacket off. It fitted and to their amazement (and mine) I bought it- I think rather to avoid having to go through this again in another shop. So I am now the proud owner of a white eighties style jacket which I am a little too embarrassed to wear. But I am sure that it will come out of the wardrobe when it stops raining.
Miscommunication and total failure at communication are part of everyday life here for us foreigners. It can work to our advantage when we get to sit in bars without ordering side dishes because they don’t know enough English to tell us that we have to for example. And on the midnight train to Seoul last year when the guard came to tell us to be quiet and we all proudly showed him our train tickets- an innocent mistake actually. Or when the guy came to read the electricity meter at Barry’s house and told us to turn the TV off and was totally taken aback when we turned it up instead. But at times it can be totally mystifying and life takes on a slightly surreal aspect. The imagination often fills in the gaps left by lack of understanding. But nothing has had me as flummoxed as the commercial that I saw last night for a pair of short for men. Please bear in mind that I am by no means an expert on the male undercarriage and maybe there is an obvious need for the product shown.
The ad started with several Korean men involved in various activities while wearing the shorts- one was lifting weights, another was casually reclined reading a magazine. Then the camera zoomed in on the crotch of one of the fellas (this being Korea he was wearing a pair of pink shorts with no slur on his sexuality whatsoever). I think that this was an honest mistake and that the cameraman just hadn’t realised quite what he was seeing through the lens. But then the graphics hit in and showed a 3D model of the shorts revealing the secret inside- a kind of ball bra which went from the back of the shorts to the front. And there was more- a reinforced area at the front was covered in little rubber massage nobbles. In the middle of this crotch cushion was a strip of elastic going from left to right- I assumed that something gets tucked in there nice and safe to minimise the risk of ‘slippage’ while either lifting weights or reading a magazine. So far so good, though rather uncomfortable looking. But then for the final detail- on a piece of string that dangled on the inside of the front of the shorts was a thick rubber band and some beads. The presenter-geezer kept putting it over his first two fingers and stretching it between the two. In fact, in the end I realised that this was the main selling feature of the item. My mind was well and truly boggled. If you are as confused as I am there then the product is called ‘Worldian’ and they even come with a handy cell phone pocket on the left leg.
Mind you, even when I do understand stuff it doesn’t stop being funny. I think that most of you know of my love of Conglish- the strange mixture of English and Korean that seems to end up on greetings cards, pencils cases and signposts over here. Many of you have seen my Christmas card collection which gave me so much joy last year- if you didn’t and you want to let me know because I have then scanned in and on the web somewhere. Some of the problems can be a simple mistake like using a Korean- American English dictionary to translate writing about the rest of the world- hence me discovering when reading the Korea Air magazine on the way to Japan last week that The Houses of Parliament back in London actually contain a Senate and House of Representatives- news to me and I am sure to most of the politicians in the UK. My favourite will always be the sign inviting us to ‘try our mouse-watering burgers and take a lot of benefit along with it’, made all the more delightful because it was in a branch of Burger King. There is a sign on a wall near me here which talks of ‘the lovely police’ and I not sure if this means that they are cuddly little plods or if they are cracking down hard on crimes of loveliness.
Needless to say this part of what makes my time over here so fun. Anyway, I have to go now, there are some raindrops running down the window which look particularly interesting.
posted by Helen @ 10:57 AM
