Toilets, Pig's heads and Beer...
Ok folks,
Here is another slice of Korean life for you straight off the Mokpo Hot Press ( and that is not the cupboard where you keep the towels for all those Irish out there). I am afraid that I have to address a slightly unsavoury topic today so I hope that you will forgive me if I start this mail with a bit about the hygiene facilities here- that is to say the toilet, the bathroom, the restroom, the ladies, the smallest room, the bog, to put no finer point on it- the dumpster!
In my house (well, room but this sounds so much more grand don't you think!) I have a fine upstanding western-style pedestal toilet. With just the one drawback. It has a padded seat. Not a drawback in itself I have to admit but the shower head is right over the toilet (think of the time saving advantages of that in the morning) and so the whole contraption gets soaked when I shower. Again, not really a problem as it is water proof after all! But there is a split in the plastic cover of the toilet seat and some of the foam is exposed so when I shower it gets wet and every time I sit in my throne for the rest of the day it squirts water on the back of my legs- a clear case of toilet's revenge.
But there is more to this story. Moving from my house (there she goes again with the delusions of grandeur- just indulge me) to the school I encounter a completely different kind of beast. A squatter. Well, an experienced traveller like myself is more than used to this kind of thing but this is a little different. The rest of the squats that I have used in many different countries are more like toilets for idiots as they have feet plates so you know where to stand and 'aim', in Korea I guess they figure that if you can't work out where to stand then you don't really need to go. Hence a bit of shuffling up and down on my haunches and the occasional glance to make sure that it is all going where it should be. And of course the paper is deposited in an open bin (trash can) next to the slit pit itself. The smell is something very nasty too- try day two Glastonbury festival if you need some kind of benchmark. All in all not a place to linger.
Which takes me to toilet type three which I came across for the first time last night. This one has its own cockpit and I am sure that there should be some kind of an exam to undertake before you are let lose alone with one. the first thing of note was the not entirely comfortable feeling when I realised that the seat was heated- unnerving! Having 'done the deed' I looked at the control panel next to the bowl and it contained no less than eight buttons- out of which at least seven did the same thing- squirted water straight up in the air so high that the ceiling in the cubicle was soaked by the time I left. I fought my way through the water and put the lid down- hit the off button (the only thing labelled in English) and ran away. Later someone took me back and showed me something that I had missed as I tried to dodge the Niagara that I had unleashed- behind the seat is a small and perfectly formed flush handle. I was more than happy to find that our next location had my old friend the squatter waiting there for me!
And now I have to tell you about that next place. I did the most Korean of all things that I have done since I got here and I went to a nori-bang- that is a singing room. Not Karaoke for any old tom, dick or Harry but a place filled with different size rooms depending on the size of your party, a menu of songs, two mikes and then my favourite bit- tambourines! I have to admit to thoroughly enjoying the experience, banging the tambourine hard on my knee (I had a beer in the other hand of course) even as I dodged the mike every time that it was thrust under my nose. Proudest moment had to be joining in a rousing chorus of Take on Me- I am sure that Morten himself would have been proud of my effort. Some of the Korean translations of song lyrics that came up on the video screens were pretty funny too and I shall try and note some of them down next time to pass onto you all.
So far I am having a lot of fun. I am a bit freaked out because all my kids are great and everyone gives me a funny look when I say that here and they tell me all their horror stories. I am sure that things will change and they will give me new classes with monsters in them. I have mainly girls in my classes and most of them are adorable. I went into the classroom on Thursday and the girls leapt out from behind the door and plied me with candy- so much for losing weight (though I am sure that my beer habit has more than a little to do with that problem)! Biggest successes this week were 1. working out how to use my washing machine- all the buttons are, of course, labelled in Korean, I spent ten minutes pressing all of them in different combinations before realising that I just need to turn on the water at the wall! 2. getting my phone- it is a little white foldy-in-half thing and it is a Hyundai and it says Neomi on the front for all your mobile phone geeks out there. the school bought it for me so I didn't have to cope with all that. 3. buying some speakers for my CD walkman so I now have tunes in the house. 4. working out the way to walk home from work so that I pass through a traditional Korean food market and 5. knowing to avert my eyes from the stalls so that I miss the three pigs head hanging upside down from hook by a flap of skin on their necks and 6. passing my first solid in a squatter!
Here is another slice of Korean life for you straight off the Mokpo Hot Press ( and that is not the cupboard where you keep the towels for all those Irish out there). I am afraid that I have to address a slightly unsavoury topic today so I hope that you will forgive me if I start this mail with a bit about the hygiene facilities here- that is to say the toilet, the bathroom, the restroom, the ladies, the smallest room, the bog, to put no finer point on it- the dumpster!
In my house (well, room but this sounds so much more grand don't you think!) I have a fine upstanding western-style pedestal toilet. With just the one drawback. It has a padded seat. Not a drawback in itself I have to admit but the shower head is right over the toilet (think of the time saving advantages of that in the morning) and so the whole contraption gets soaked when I shower. Again, not really a problem as it is water proof after all! But there is a split in the plastic cover of the toilet seat and some of the foam is exposed so when I shower it gets wet and every time I sit in my throne for the rest of the day it squirts water on the back of my legs- a clear case of toilet's revenge.
But there is more to this story. Moving from my house (there she goes again with the delusions of grandeur- just indulge me) to the school I encounter a completely different kind of beast. A squatter. Well, an experienced traveller like myself is more than used to this kind of thing but this is a little different. The rest of the squats that I have used in many different countries are more like toilets for idiots as they have feet plates so you know where to stand and 'aim', in Korea I guess they figure that if you can't work out where to stand then you don't really need to go. Hence a bit of shuffling up and down on my haunches and the occasional glance to make sure that it is all going where it should be. And of course the paper is deposited in an open bin (trash can) next to the slit pit itself. The smell is something very nasty too- try day two Glastonbury festival if you need some kind of benchmark. All in all not a place to linger.
Which takes me to toilet type three which I came across for the first time last night. This one has its own cockpit and I am sure that there should be some kind of an exam to undertake before you are let lose alone with one. the first thing of note was the not entirely comfortable feeling when I realised that the seat was heated- unnerving! Having 'done the deed' I looked at the control panel next to the bowl and it contained no less than eight buttons- out of which at least seven did the same thing- squirted water straight up in the air so high that the ceiling in the cubicle was soaked by the time I left. I fought my way through the water and put the lid down- hit the off button (the only thing labelled in English) and ran away. Later someone took me back and showed me something that I had missed as I tried to dodge the Niagara that I had unleashed- behind the seat is a small and perfectly formed flush handle. I was more than happy to find that our next location had my old friend the squatter waiting there for me!
And now I have to tell you about that next place. I did the most Korean of all things that I have done since I got here and I went to a nori-bang- that is a singing room. Not Karaoke for any old tom, dick or Harry but a place filled with different size rooms depending on the size of your party, a menu of songs, two mikes and then my favourite bit- tambourines! I have to admit to thoroughly enjoying the experience, banging the tambourine hard on my knee (I had a beer in the other hand of course) even as I dodged the mike every time that it was thrust under my nose. Proudest moment had to be joining in a rousing chorus of Take on Me- I am sure that Morten himself would have been proud of my effort. Some of the Korean translations of song lyrics that came up on the video screens were pretty funny too and I shall try and note some of them down next time to pass onto you all.
So far I am having a lot of fun. I am a bit freaked out because all my kids are great and everyone gives me a funny look when I say that here and they tell me all their horror stories. I am sure that things will change and they will give me new classes with monsters in them. I have mainly girls in my classes and most of them are adorable. I went into the classroom on Thursday and the girls leapt out from behind the door and plied me with candy- so much for losing weight (though I am sure that my beer habit has more than a little to do with that problem)! Biggest successes this week were 1. working out how to use my washing machine- all the buttons are, of course, labelled in Korean, I spent ten minutes pressing all of them in different combinations before realising that I just need to turn on the water at the wall! 2. getting my phone- it is a little white foldy-in-half thing and it is a Hyundai and it says Neomi on the front for all your mobile phone geeks out there. the school bought it for me so I didn't have to cope with all that. 3. buying some speakers for my CD walkman so I now have tunes in the house. 4. working out the way to walk home from work so that I pass through a traditional Korean food market and 5. knowing to avert my eyes from the stalls so that I miss the three pigs head hanging upside down from hook by a flap of skin on their necks and 6. passing my first solid in a squatter!
posted by Helen @ 9:12 PM
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